Wednesday, November 30, 2005

Today I was fortunate enough to witness Agitha's spectacular outfit. She came to talk to me about Wilmer, well actually warn me. She told me he has a reputation around the office as a ladies man so I should watch out. But that's beside the point. Her outfit was something to talk about. For footwear, she decided to go with redish orange high top shoes. I'm not quite sure if they were snow boots but they looked pretty darn close. Then came the green stretch pants. Very 1980 I must say. For a top she chose to go with a cream sweater, always a great combination. And her jacket, well, I'm going to run out and pick up one of these as soon as I'm done here. It was a leopard print fur coat witha hood that had some sort of fur around the rim. SWEET! Oh, and her hairstyle of the day was a simple twist held up by a claw. What a joy it was to witness this outfit. It was definitely the highlight of my day.

I added some pictures to cubicle 840. Just some memories from summers past and old school chums. I miss them all so I decided to decorate my cubicle with photos. I'm an avid picture taker so it just seemed appropriate.

Well, I'm off to the supermarket to buy some supplies. Maybe I'll pick up some treats to place on my desk. Yeah, that sounds nice.

Monday, November 28, 2005

Why am I single?
It takes time to separate the best from the rest!
It gives my mother something to live for.
Justin Timberlake is taken.
Just lucky, I guess.
I’m single because I’m waiting for my perfect match.
The younger you are, the more likely it is that you’ll grow in different directions. But when you’re older, you’ve got a better idea of who the person is and that they’re going to stay that way.

When asked why I'm single, I simply respond:
Thank you for recognizing how high my standards are! or
No one has been smart enough to ask me yet! or
That's a good question, I've never thought about it before!

And I always add a smile with every comment. (man I love the holidays)

Sunday, November 27, 2005

This morning I decided to go wonder around the office before my meeting and see what decor others had chosen for their cubicles. That is how I met Agitha. She was all decked out in a bright purple pant suit. One might mistake her for a giant grape popsicle. I let out a tiny giggle, waved, and was on my way. Oh the people of this office, it is no wonder I am so comfortable within the confines of cubicle 840.

And then there's my trainer named Wilmer. He's a young fella, probably around high 30's. He's quite easy on the eyes. In fact, I'm pretty sure he has a crush on me. From the moment I walked into the training room, his eyes were directed towards me. I don't know if it was the side braid or the flowing peasant skirt but there was just something about me today that must have caught his eye. As the training session continued, he kept leaning over my shoulder to use my computer for demonstration. This only continued to confirm my assumptions that he liked me. This put me in a dilemma. What would Rodalpho think about this? All this attention from an older man. I was starting to get anxious to return back to cubicle 840 because I couldn't handle all this new attention.

As soon as the training session was over, I zipped towards the door. As I was about to step outside, Wilmer motioned for me to come over to his desk. Oh man, the blood all rushed from my face and I started to sweat. What could he possibly want? I was almost home free!

Well, it turns out that he just wanted to give me an updated training manual, but he still singled me out. He definitely has a crush on me. I hurried as fast as I could back to cubicle 840. Oh the joys of seeing my own gray chair, my own 5 foot wall divider. What gets better than that??!!
What a dilemma I'm stuck with now. Rodalpho and Wilmer. Oh my life, the perils of my life!
Not to mention it's about 3 degrees outside and windy.

Saturday, November 26, 2005

Thanksmas was a definite success with the Trost family. It was so great to see all of my cousins, aunts, and uncles again. I don't think I've laughed as much as I did on Thursday in a really long time. Its amazing how just being around family can make me so happy. I was bummed that Jon, my younger brother, wasn't there because he had basketball in Nebraska. But, it was great to see the rest of my family.
With each passing year, it's becoming increasingly harder to find a time to all get together for both Christmas and Thanksgiving so for the past two years, we've had to combine the two into one, known as Thanksmas. We all get together for the traditional thanksgiving dinner and after we're done eatting, we break for some card games. We usually play one game each Thanksgiving. For instance, two years ago I think it was Hold Em', last year it was Bunco, this year it was Eucher. After a few rounds of cards, its time to make the transition to Christmas.
Every year we read the Christmas story from the Bible and often times, act out the scenes. (yes, its true). We also sing christmas carols and sometimes we collect and offering to donate to a local church or organization.
After the little "service", its time to play that annual game to see who gets to open their presents first. In the past we've played games like Family Feud, Blurt, Bible Trivia, Trival Pursuit (many different editions), we've had scavenger hunts around my grandparents house, played Bunco, word puzzles, all kinds of things. Sometimes it's family against family, but most of the time, we mix it up. This year, it was Trost Trivia. Each family had to come up with multiple choice questions about themselves for the other teams to guess. After playing this game, we determined that the Trost's like to cheat and that it all started back with my Grandma. She would blurt out answers for the other teams and she would change the right answer when a team guessed right! It was so hilarious. You have to know my grandma though to really understand it. And there's my uncle George. He always has a joke for everything so we were all rolling on the floor we were laughing so much. And for the record I'd like to say my team won! Anyways, after the presents are open, its more eatting and playing games. We played some more cards, played Scene It television edition and Harry Potter edition. The fellas watched some football and then ALWAYS James Bond.. ALWAYS!
All in all, it was a good Thanksmas and I was sad to see it go. Jason and I drove back to Des Moines and we went and saw the movie Rent. It's not my favorite musical as far as the plot but the music is so great. I was singing it all day on Friday at work. Then last night I went and saw the musical CATS. Again, not my favorite concept but the music is just soo good. Today, is definitely a day of rest for me. Running some errands, doing a little cleaning, and watching some Hawkeye basketball. Happy Thanksgiving everyone and go Hawkeyes!

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

you know your stunning
absolutely stunning
and I'm running always running

and now I'm crying
you know only cause I'm caring
and if you were more daring maybe you'd stop staring
and come over and talk to me
and tell me about how you've been waiting patiently
and how you tried but I just turned away
and I'll say, "yeah well you know, I'm shy that way"

shy that way
shy that way
maybe I'm shy that way

you know she's stunning
she's absolutely stunning
but she's always running
but ill catch up to her...

the way she keeps her distance
keepin my interest
so ill keep it consistent

maybe someday, someway, somehow, sometime
we'll get together and we'll break it down
and I'll ask, "why you gotta be so shy, why you gotta be that way?"
well maybe, baby, I like it that way

shy that way
maybe I, like it shy that way
maybe I love you so shy that way

Ok, I'm shy that way...

there's always too much talking
and I wanna just keep walking
and I keep staring, baby, keep staring
though I may not know the right things to say
I'll get it out to you one day

shy that way
shy that way

do you like it? do you like it when I'm shy
yes I like it, yes I like it, when your shy

shy that way

Monday, November 21, 2005

So a few things have happened. The blog is three fold. First off, how do I get on Oprah!!?? I mean, I'm not in the audience for another Favorite Things show. What is it going to take!

Secondly, I lost my first case today. I know, crazy huh, but it happened. So tomorrow should be a fun day!

Thirdly, I have to tell you about my funny story that got me all flustered. Saturday night, Hayley, Michael and I were taking Carson and Reagan to see Harry Potter. I knew that critics were saying it was fairly scary for young children and since Carson is 4, I wanted to call my brother Jason to see what he thought of it. I opened up my phone, scrolled down to Jason, and this is the conversation that transpired:

Jason: Hey
Jill: Hi Jason
Jason: hi
Jill: How are you doing?
Jason: fine
(something strange hit me) ... my brain is thinking something is wrong with the situation and then it hit me, I called Jason Custer instead of my brother Jason
Jill: oh my gosh, you're not my brother
Jason: uh no
Jill: I was trying to call my brother
Jason: whats your brothers name
Jill: jason
Jason: well I can see how you can mess that up
(at this point, I'm seriously flustered and embarrassed)
Jill: uh uh, can I call you back later
Jason: yeah
Jill: okay bye (click)

I was so flustered after that because it totally hit me off guard. Its wierd when you expect somebody to be on the other line and its not them. I'm sure my face was either pale white or bright red because i was just so confused. Its not that I didnt want to talk to Jason, it just threw me!
Serves me right I guess because Jason C. called me one time and Hayl answered the phone pretending to be me. That threw him off a little! haha

Anyways, I called my brother after that and told him the story. He just decided to laugh at me the whole time. Lets just say I have the jason's specified in my phone now.

So thats the 3 fold story. (or should I say A, B, and third for my friend Doug)

Sunday, November 20, 2005

I stole this from Sarah because I didn't have a single thing to blog about today. Well I guess I could blog about how I learned how to knit. Today I felt like I was a grandma. After church, Janes mom showed me how to "cast on" and I went to town knitting away at a scarf. Meanwhile, I was watching the musical Oklahoma. Now that is something my grandma definitely would do. I thought it was kind of funny but hey, when you're bored, its always fun to try new things. Anyways, here's what I stole from Sarah.

50 Random Questions:

1. Your name spelled backwards? lijj

2. Where were your parents born? In Iowa
3. What is the last thing you downloaded onto your computer? umm, i think it was some Bon Jovi

4. What's your favorite restaurant? I like the Roadhouse, I'm really not partial to any restaurant

5. Last time you swam in a pool? at kamp this past summer

6. Have you ever been in a school play? Oh yes, haha.. many

7. How many kids do you want? Three, maybe four.

8. Type of music you dislike most? Real old school country

9. Are you registered to vote? Yes.

10. Do you have cable? Yup
11. Have you ever ridden on a moped? Yes

12. Ever prank-called anybody? I'm a girl, that's what we did at sleepovers!

13. Best friends? well, my 220 girls of course, and then all my kamp friends, especially the Krew. I just love friends in general

14. Would you go bungee jumping or sky diving? Heck yes I would

15. Furthest place you ever traveled? Bahamas

16. Do you have a garden? no, but I have a plant on my desk at work

17. What's your favorite comic strip? Baby blues, it has cute characters

18. Do you really know all the words to your national anthem? I thought I did, until I googled them. There are like 5 verses I have never even heard of! I know the first verse though (the one traditionally sung at ball games) -- dido what sarah said

19. Bath or Shower, morning or night? Shower in the morning

20. Best movie you've seen in the past month? I just saw Harry Potter last night! haha, um, I guess in the past month it would be Derailed. It really had me on the edge of my seat.

21. Favorite pizza toppings? just cheese

22. Chips or popcorn? popcorn

23. What color lipstick do you usually wear? gloss is the way to go

24. Have you ever smoked peanut shells? what? Has anyone ever done that

25. Have you ever been in a beauty pageant? no way

26. Orange Juice or apple? Orange juice

27. Who was the last person you went out to dinner with and where? my friend Cindy

28. Favorite type chocolate bar? I like M&Ms, even though they're not technically a bar

29. When was the last time you voted at the polls? 2004 presidential election

30. Last time you ate a homegrown tomato? for lunch today on my sandwich

31. Have you ever won a trophy? For gymnastics when i was younger, I was so proud of them all back in the day, now they just sit in my room at my parents house

32. Are you a good cook? I like to think I am

33. Do you know how to pump your own gas? Yes.

34. Ever ordered from an infomercial? nope

35. Sprite or 7-up? Sprite Zero

36. Have you ever had to wear a uniform to work? Well, in a way yes. And at kamp, we all have matching tshirts

37. Last thing you bought at a Walgreens? Havent ever been to a walgreens I dont think

38. Ever thrown up in public? before almost every track meet in high school

39. Would you prefer being a millionaire or finding true love? True love, definitely!!

40. Do you believe in love at first sight? No

41. Can ex's be just friends? I'm better friends with my ex now than when we were actually dating so I'd say yes

42. Who was the last person you visited in a hospital? i havent been to visit anyone in the hospital in ages

43. Did you have a lot of hair as a baby? a fine set of blond locks

44. What message is on your answering machine? Hi, you've reached the voicemail of Jill Trost, I am unable to take your call but if you leave your name and number, I will get back to you as soon as I can. Thanks and have a great day. (its a work thing)

45. Where would you like to go? Hawaii, Italy, and Austria

46. What was the name of your first pet? havent ever had a pet

47. What kinda backpack do u have, and what's in it? a Columbia backpack that I havent used since college

48. Who is your best friend of the opposite sex? hmm, probably michael. i'm best friends with my brothers too, and jason is a great friend

49. What is one thing you are grateful for today? salvation

50. What do you think about most? In general? Well, most of my friends are married so I think about that a lot. but in general, I think about my friends

Saturday, November 19, 2005

Good Old Fashion
Iowa Football!!

I love it, Go Hawkeyes!

Thursday, November 17, 2005


1. Understanding

That's right. Understanding the importance of a positive attitude. A positive attitude is not shown in some wild-eyed, fanatical, turbo-charged behavior that is going in a hundred directions. No! A truly effective positive attitude is based on reason and a knowledge of the truth -- that all of the research supports the importance of having an appropriate positive attitude.

One person put it this way:
"If passion drives you, let vision hold the reins.
Once you understand the opposing forces warring within you, you come to a knowledge of the truth, And you no longer remain a stone."

Unfortunately, there are so many people who just don't get it. They don't fully grasp the importance of having a strong, healthy, positive attitude.

Of course, the winners get it. The respected TV commentator, Hugh Downs, gets it. He says, "A happy person is not a person in a certain set of circumstances, but a person with a certain set of attitudes."

And 16-year old Anne Frank, the famous Jewish refugee and diarist got it, even though she was hunted, persecuted, and killed by the Nazis in World War II. She wrote, "Everyone has inside of him a piece of good news. The good news is that you don't know how great you can be! How much you can love! What you can accomplish! And what your potential is!"

What about you? If you don't get it or haven't gotten it, I would urge you to make a decision -- today -- that few things in life are more important than having a persistent positive attitude. Decide that right here and now. And don't worry about how you're going to get one. We'll talk about that later.

=> 2. Living

People with a strong, healthy positive attitude live their lives. They really LIVE them -- deeply, fully, each and every day. They don't waste any of their emotional energy muttering such pitiful comments as "Another day, another dollar" or "I've got just five more years, three months, and two days and I'm out of here." In essence, people like that are not living their lives. They're simply enduring them.

In the movie, "Braveheart," Mel Gibson portrayed the famous Scottish warrior. And he summed it up better than most. Braveheart said, "Everyone dies, but not all people actually live."

Again, what about you? Are you truly living your life now? Or are you putting it off -- until the kids leave home, find a new job, buy a different house, or finally retire? If any of that sounds like you, you DO NOT have the kind of positive attitude you should have.

By contrast, I am reminded of one 83-year old woman who wrote to her friend about living life NOW. She exemplified this second component of a positive attitude. She wrote:

"Dear Bertha,

I'm reading more and dusting less. I'm sitting in the yard and admiring the view without fussing about the weeds in the garden. I'm spending more time with my family and friends and less time working. Whenever possible, life should be a pattern of experiences to savor, not to endure. I'm trying to recognize these moments now and cherish them.

I'm not "saving" anything; we use our good china and crystal for every special event such as losing a pound, getting the sink unstopped, or the first Amaryllis blossom.

I wear my good blazer to the market. My theory is if I look prosperous, I can shell out $28.49 for one small bag of groceries.

I'm not saving my good perfume for special parties, but wearing it for clerks in the hardware store and tellers at the bank.

"Someday" and "one of these days" are losing their grip on my vocabulary. If it's worth seeing or hearing or doing, I want to see and hear and do it now.

I'm not sure what others would've done had they known they wouldn't be here for the tomorrow that we all take for granted.

I think they would have called family members and a few close friends. They might have called a few former friends to apologize and mend fences for past squabbles. I like to think they would have gone out for a Chinese dinner or for whatever their favorite food was.

I'm guessing; I'll never know.

It's those little things left undone that would make me angry if I knew my hours were limited. Angry because I hadn't written certain letters that I intended to write one of these days. Angry and sorry that I didn't tell my husband and parents often enough how much I truly love them. I'm trying very hard not to put off, hold back, or save anything that would add laughter and luster to our lives. And every morning when I open my eyes, I tell myself that it is special.

I don't believe in Miracles. I rely on them."


How would you rate your attitude on a scale of 1 to 10, with 10 being "Strongly and Persistently positive despite the circumstances in your life and in your work?

And then, if you score yourself as anything less than 10, ask yourself, "What you are doing to raise your score? Or what will you do to raise your score once and for all?"

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

Snow Day
You know its going to be a good day when you turn on the television in the morning and the weatherman says "Temperature today....2! Not 82, not even 22, just 2. Oh how I love Iowa weather. Literally, last week it was in the 70's. Saturday and Sunday we had tornadoes, and yesterday, blizzard. Today, well, it was just windy and freezing. I don't know about you but all the changes in the weather make me crazy. Can't Iowa ever just pick a climate, preferably warm, and stick with it.
I shouldn't complain though. I am an Iowa girl and I guess I choose to live here. But, you would think that after 22 years of living in such a crazy state I would get the hint and move south. I'm a tough girl and anyone who has ever experienced Iowa windchill knows you have to be one tough cookie. You learn not to complain and feel blessed when the temperature is in the 20's during the dead of winter. All you can really do is grin and bear it. Meanwhile, while you're grinning, your cheeks get frozen that way, the snot freezes in your nose, and well, even your teeth hurt from the cold. That my friends, is what being an Iowan is all about. We're tough skinned people with big warm hearts. We're friendly to our neighbors and help them shovel snow and scrape their cars. We learn to be thankful for what we have and blessed to share it with our friends and family. Even when the snow is falling, there's always some joy to be found. If you can handle living in Iowa, you can pretty much handle anything!

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

As I peered out the window, my eyes were met with amazement at the winter wonderland outside! The first snowfall of the season! Wow, I'm not sure I'm ready for the snow yet but I guess I have to be. I guess I should introduce myself. My name is Maybel and I am the occupant of cubicle 840. I guess I'm going to be taking you on a journey through my life within the cubicle. It's not exactly what I envisioned for my life but it will do for now. Afterall, there's so many people to meet who have stories to be told. I can't wait for you to get to know some of the regular visitors who come around cubicle 840. And then there are those who, well, lets just stick with the word odd. So far you've been introduced to Rodalpho. I'm still contemplating the whole situation still and analyzing what happened. But, I'm sure there's many more Rodalpho meetings to come. Oh goodness, what will I wear, how should I do my hair. This is serious people. Oh the perils of my cubicle. I hope you stick around for the journey that I take. I'm only one person in this world, or in this cubicle rather, and this is my story.

Monday, November 14, 2005

Tales from Cubicle 840

Today I decided that I would declare my love for Rodalpho. It don't know if it's his shaggy hair or the scruff on his chin but I am just drawn in. Love may be the word but I'm too scared to say it. I find myself thinking about him all the time, infatuated, daydreaming the hours away. I was supposed to be working on a case this afternoon when my boss walked by. I was caught off guard amidst my fantasizing when I was scoulded for not being productive. I decided right then and there that I would have to tell Rodalpho my feelings. I needed to either satisfy this fantasy or move on with my life in the working world. I knew that my work would suffer if I did not do something about the current situation.

With a million thoughts running through my mind, I got up the courage to leave my cubicle, my humble safety nest, and venture out down the hallways. With each step I took I became more and more nervous. What would I say, what would he say? I guess only time would tell. And then, there it was, Rodalpho's cubicle. As I rounded the corner to enter, I noticed a sign on his desk that read "Out of Office."
What, he is not out of the office, I just saw him? Was this relief I was feeling or was it anger? I became flustered. Do I write him a letter, call him and leave a voicemail, send an email, what do I do?? I quickly turned and as I did, I ran smack into Rodalpho. The blood quickly drained out of my face and I thought for an instant, I might die right then and there. He gave me a quick smile and said "need something?" I retaliated with "uh, um, can I borrow your stapler?" He gave me this wierd look as to say "stapler huh." I snatched the stapler out of his hand and scurried back to my safe haven of a cubicle as fast as I could.

I sat there for a few moments pondering what had just happened. I realized that he would probably want his stapler back which meant I either had to go back to his desk or he would come over to my cubicle to get it back. I couldn't risk him coming over and viewing one of the many sketches of his name with a heart around it that I had lying around my desk. I decided that with the current state of mind I was in, I couldn't handle either situation. So, as Gerhard was walking by my desk, I asked him if he wouldn't return Rodalpho's stapler for me. He gave me a wink, took the stapler, and headed off down the aisle to Rodapho's desk.

Free, finally free to sit in my abode and ponder what had just happened. The days events were just too much to handle so I was thankful when 3:30 rolled around. Time to go home. I packed up my desk, told people good night and proceeded towards the door. I was about 10 steps away from the outside world when, yup, Rodalpho came out a side door headed straight for me. I bee lined it towards the bathroom and waited for about 15 minutes to be absolutely sure he was gone. "Did he see me? Did he think I was avoiding him? Oh goodness, this day just needs to end."
I crept out of the bathroom and walked as fast as I could towards my car. What a day it had been. I had faced Rodalpho.... and I was making progress. He now knew that I existed! This called for celebration. It will be much easier declaring my love now that he knows what I look like. Now, if he only knew my name!

stay tuned for the next edition of Tales from Cubicle 840 (can you guys tell I'm bored and missing people or should I credit this new story line to the creative genius of a writer that I am?)

Sunday, November 13, 2005

I miss way too many people right now. I'm at a loss for words!

Saturday, November 12, 2005

Christmas Shopping Day

It's not even Thanksgiving, I know, but I wanted to get a head start on Christmas shopping this year. My friend Cindy came down to Des Moines this morning and we headed off to Jordan Creek for some shopping. It just doesn't seem right to be thinking about Christmas when its 67 degrees outside?? Where's the winter wonderland I'm supposed to be walking in? Where's the white Christmas I dream about? I shouldn't jump the gun, however, in due time, the snow will be falling and I'll be wishing for fun in the sun. BUT, thats what vacation is for right!

Anyways, with a little of my shopping done, all I have left to do today is cheer for the Hawkeyes. It's been a tough road for us, we just can't seem to get over that hump and pull out a win. BUT, I have faith in my Hawks. They are a great team and I have confidence in them. With that I say, GO HAWKEYES!

Friday, November 11, 2005

220 East 9th Reunion

So, this took place quite a while ago now but I never posted the pictures. I wasn't my usual self that night and as a result, not to many pictures were taken (sorry linds, you didn't make the pictures.) But, I guess you can enjoy the ones I did take. What a fun time it was at the 220 reunion. We made dinner, played a little "lets go around the circle...," and made some puppy chow. How we love our puppy chow! Michael is allergic to cats so he had a "fun" time. Anyways, I miss you girls tons. Lets all live in Des Moines so our kids have start their own club.

Thursday, November 10, 2005

Wartburg vs. Iowa
Last night my brothers basketball team played the University of Iowa at Carver Hawkeye. My older brother was coming back from Chicago for the game so that was fun because my whole family was going to be there. I was surprised to see how many people were actually at the game. Scored some center line seats about 6 rows up and had a blast. It was a really fun game and Wartburg played them pretty tough. The outcome however, proved Iowa was the better team. It was interesting to cheer for both teams, I didn't really care who won. All in all, I got to see my parents and my brothers, plus a bunch of my parents friends. I also ran into a few old college chums which was exciting. It was a great night for basketball and oh so much fun.
Then came the dreaded 2 hour drive back to Des Moines because I had to work in the morning. Late night for me!! Lets just say it didn't take me 2 hours though because I just zipped right home in Stacy (fyi: thats the name of my car)
The previous night I had a sleepover at Hayls apartment because michael was out of town. It was just like old times minus the yoga mat. Theres just something comforting about old feelings and routine, you know. Anyways, we were kept awake by the 10 piece wind chime ensemble that played outside the window. It was so windy outside that it was even causing the vertical blinds to tap tap tap! Talk about a marching band. So I didnt get much sleep that night either.
Tonight is the OC, thank you thank you! I really need to finish my book too so it's looking to be another late night! Thank the Lord for casual Fridays!!

Tuesday, November 08, 2005

What a beautiful day...

So I'm finding it really hard to sit inside at work all day when the weather outside is so great! I can not even imagine working in a warm climate and having to be inside all day. When I walked outside today after work, it smelled like Florida. Florida just has this smell that I love and surprisingly, it smelled like that today. I love it!

Well I worked on my first case today. Can't say that I did to well, more like I successfully failed. Oxymoron you say, well I don't believe in failing so a "failure" is always successful because you can learn from it. I eventually had to give up on my letter and save it for tomorrow morning. Anyways, get outside and enjoy the weather. It's one of God's greatest gifts.

Monday, November 07, 2005

Life is hardly worth living without an obsession. God himself is obsessed. With His creation. With humans. With the love of humans. You think He created with nonchalance? Let's throw some mud against the sky and see if any of it sticks? Not a chance. We are created for love, for obsession. So we do indeed obsess, though usually not over the right idea. - ted dekker

I have been through many obessions in my life, all have been absolutely unnecessary and as I look back on them now, what was I thinking. I've always had a problem with obsession and letting that take control of me. Not really to the point of radical behavior, though some may say that, but I'd say more like childish. Lets take for instance my infatuation with Leonardo Dicaprio after the movie Titanic came out. What was I thinking. I thought I was in love with him, but then again, what age was I?! haha. Then there comes the obsession with all things N'Sync. My wall covered from top to bottom, including the ceiling, with posters and pinups; owning every cd and dvd; buying clothing and dolls, taping every single tv appearance they were on (and I mean EVERY show), and going to as many concerts as I could. I've been to 4, well 5 if you count the time I went to Justin's solo concert. It was almost like New Kids on the Block all over again. Oh man, while tiny traces of the obsession still remain, I can honestly say that I'm moving on. Though Justin Timberlake holds a small piece of my heart, I feel it is probably to my best interest to find a new role model and love interest! ha
But isn't it funny how I become obsessed with the most pointless things. Think if I would have directed all the energy and money to something that would actually last or mean something. I don't want to say "what a waste" because I think all those things I was obsessed with when I was younger helped shape my personality, but it's hard not to ask "what if."
Growing up, some of my girlfriends were so obsessed with having a boyfriend that they could never go more than a week without having a guy at their side. I always criticized them and wondered why they were the way they were. I've always been an independent person so I never understood their obsession. But their obession with boys was really no different than mine with possesions. Now that I think about it, they probably asked the same questions about me, just in a different context. We just get so caught up in the things that we love and the people that we love. Afterall, we're called to love but what is to be our first Love??
Wouldn't it be amazing if we were all obsessed with Christ. Obsession is such a powerful word. Its not just liking something a lot, or enjoying it and having a passion for it, its being totally and completely infatuated with something that it is all you think about. Imagine if that's the way we thought about Christ. If He was on our mind 100% of the day, He controlled our thoughts, actions, everything, wouldn't that be amazing! To be that obsessed with Christ, well, I can only pray that that would be my life!

Sunday, November 06, 2005

Do you know what hope and fear have in common? They both hold great power. But that power is dependent on both fear and hope together. Think about it. Without the fear of something terrible, you cannot have the hope that it won't happen, you see? Without having hope for something wonderful, you can't have any fear of losing it. They work together, the two most powerful forces we possess. - ted dekker

Why is it that fear is such a strong emotion. It's one that really gets me. I have no fear when it comes to the dark or to scary movies, I get a high from heights and daring adventures, and I throw myself into painful situations because I'm not scared of being bruised or broken. More importantly, I have no fear in death. But why is it that my having no fear is because I have hope for the future. I know that what is of this world is only temporary, thus, I'm fearless. Sure, I get scared during some instances but fear itself doesn't hold power over me for my faith and hope are strong.

Why is it then that fear of being alone so easily creeps in. I fear the Lord, thus making my faith strong, but that little fear known as lonliness always finds it's way into my wishful thinking. I can stand up to a bully, I handle needles and shots with ease, and I laugh through haunted houses. Why is it so that a simple thing as lonliness can break me down. I have been blessed with the greatest family and I have more friends than I deserve, but it lies deeper than that. Knowing that I was put on this Earth for a purpose kills me! I want to know what that purpose is and it drives me crazy that I have to take it one day at a time. Being a lady, it's hard to supress my feelings of wanting a family. To be given a gift of carrying a child within you is more precious than most people realize. I guess when it boils down to it, that is the lonliness that I fear. Not having a family to share my faith with. Not having someone to grow with in the Lord. It is hard to be surrounded with people who love you and not be able to find someone to share your love with.
In essence, that is what ultimately gives me hope. I fear lonliness which inevitably makes my hope stronger. The Lord knows my heart. He knows my fears and He knows my hopes. But more importantly, He knows my faith. Being strong in my faith means that I have to realize that the Lord is enough. And He is enough! Ultimately He is the only one who deserves my love because He so graciously gave it to me. Seeking after God's own heart is my greatest desire and while I fear lonliness, I am never alone. I will never be alone! My fear creeps in only to draw me back to the Lord. That is His purpose, that when we fall or waiver, we continue to seek Him for our strength. The greatest thing about hope and fear is that through both, people turn to Christ. Whether it is fear in death, fear in life, hope in a future, whatever it may be, people will turn to the Lord.
So when I previously said that I am fearless, I guess when it all comes down to it, I am not. I have fear in the Lord and I know the Lord is with me. That my friends, is the greatest fear and hope of all.

Saturday, November 05, 2005

Well, my first week of the new job is officially done. Can't say that I'm really all that sad about that one but more like relieved. It was a lot harder than I initially anticipated. It's not something that I'm accustomed to so it is definitely out of my comfort zone. I'm really giving it a chance and keeping an open mind. The Lord led me to this job for a purpose and it is my responsibility to seek hard after that purpose, whatever it may be. But, I made it through the week so thank the Lord.

Iowa plays Northwestern today so Go Hawkeyes. A win would be great so a bowl game can be in the future. I don't know if my lungs can take much more loud yelling and cheering after the Bon Jovi concert but I won't give up on my Hawkeyes! There always number one in my book.

Speaking of books, I'm reading a book by Ted Dekker called Obsessed. It's really interesting and I'm really getting a lot out of it. Later, I'll provide some quotes from the book that have really got me thinking. Now that I work, I have to go to sleep early so I don't get to read as long. But, yesterday, I read forever and now I'm dying to finish the book. So, after the Iowa game, it's a little reading for me and then off to Josh's wedding in Cedar Rapids. Such a fun filled day, I can't wait.

Thursday, November 03, 2005

Bon Jovi Concert Last Night!!!!!

So most of you know that I have a crush on Bon Jovi (refer back to a past blog.) Anyways, last night was the kick off show to their Have a Nice Day Tour. They picked Des Moines Iowa of all places to kick off the tour and let me tell you, it sure was appreciated. Hayley, Michael, and a few members of Hayls family went and we had an absolutely amazing time. It was at the brand new Wells Fargo Arena and there was about 15,500 people there. They sang about half of their songs from their new album with classics intermingled throughout the set. What an electric performance they put on. There presence alone is enough to make me crazy! At one point during the concert, some ladies came on stage and they got to dance with Jon. Jealousy is a sin and I admit, I was WAY jealous! He even kissed every single one of them on the lips! Major jealousy here! My jaw just dropped and I looked over at Hayl. I told her that if I was ever that close, I would lift his shirt up and stick my head under it! haha, true story!
Hayl and I perfected many different dance moves throughout the concert. Many of them came from imitating the group of moms in front of us. Some favorites include the boxing punch; the waving of arms from up, down, and side to side; the full body swivel, the runner, the pointing at Jon and signaling for him to come closer, and the sticking out of the chest while looking down and making wierd faces. You had to be there!
I knew quite a few of the new songs because I have them on my ipod but its hard not to want him to sing all the classics. Bad Medicine was awesome and extremely loud, excellent as well. My favorite would have to be Livin on a Prayer. Such a classic, such a fun song to sing, and such a spectacular sighte A Bad Name was sung almost completely by the audience which was so fun, Have a Nice Day,You Give Lov It's My Life, Blaze of Glory, and a few others were to actually see Jon sing it. He ended up doing two encores, one included Dead or Alive, which I screamed loud enough for him to come back out for a third!
All in all, it is at the top of my list for favorite concerts ever. I've been to a lot but Jon is right up there! If you get a chance to see him, dont pass it up!
1. You've ever ended a sentence with the word "PSYCHE".
2. You watched the Pound Puppies.
3. You can sing the rap to the "Fresh Prince of Belair"
4. You wore biker shorts under your skirts and felt stylish.
5. You yearned to be a member of the Baby-sitters club and tired to
start a club of your own.
6. You owned those lil Strawberry Shortcake pals scented dolls.
7. You know that "WOA" comes from Joey on Blossom.
8. Two words: M.C. Hammer
9. If you ever watched "Fraggle Rock".
10. You had plastic streamers on your handle bars.
11. You can sing the entire theme song to "Duck Tales".
12. When it was actually worth getting up early on a Saturday to
watch cartoons.
13. You wore a pony tail on the side of your head.
14. You saw the original "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles" on the big
15. You got super-excited when it was Oregon Trail day in computer class at school.
16. You made your mom buy one of those clips that would hold your shirt in a knot on the side.
17. You played the game "MASH" (Mansion, Apartment, Shelter, House) with friends at school.
18. You wore Jordache jean jacket and you were proud of it.
19. L.A. Gear.....
20. You wanted to change your name to "JEM" in Kindergarten.
21. You remember reading "Tales of a fourth grade nothing" and all
the Ramona books.
22. You know the profound meaning of "WAX ON, WAX OFF"
23. You wanted to be a Goonie.
24. You ever wore, fluorescent, if you will, clothing.
25. You can remember what Micheal Jackson looked like before his
nose fell off...
26. You have ever pondered why Smurfette was the only female smurf.
27. You took Lunch Pales to school.
28. You remember the CRAZE, then the BANNING of slap bracelets.
29. You still get the urge to say "NOT" after every sentence.
30. You remember Hypercolor t-shirts.
31. Barbie and the Rockers was your favorite band.
32. You thought Sheena and He-Man should hook up.
33. You thought your childhood friends would never leave because
you exchanged friendship bracelets.
34. You ever owned a pair of Jelly-Shoes.
35. After you saw Pee-Wee's Big Adventure you kept saying "I know
what you are, but what am I?"
36. You remember "I've fallen and I can't get up"
37. You remember going to the skating rink before there were in-
line skates.
38. You ever got seriously injured on a Slip and Slide.
39. You have ever played with a Skip-It.
40. You had or attended a birthday party at McDonalds.
41. You've gone through this list occasionally saying "This wasn't
from the 80's!"
42. You remember Popples.
43. "Dont worry, be happy"
44. You wore like, EIGHT pairs of socks over tights with high top
45. You wore socks scrunched down.
46. "Miss MARY MARY MACK, all dressed in BLACK BLACK BLACK"
47. You remember boom boxes vs cd players.
48. You remember watching both "Gremlins" movies.
49. You know what it maeant to say "Care Bear Stare!!"
50. You remember watching Rainbow Bright and My Little Pony Tales"
51. You thought Doogie Howser was hot.
52. You remember Alf, the lil furry brown alien from Melmac.
53. You remember New Kids on the Block when they were cool.
54. You knew all the characters names and their life stories on
"Saved By the Bell", the ORIGINAL class.
55. You know all the words to Bon Jovi when someone sings- SHOT THRU THE HEART.

Wednesday, November 02, 2005

26 Beautiful One-liners

1. Give God what's right -- not what's left.
2. Man's way leads to a hopeless end -- God's way leads to an endless hope.
3. A lot of kneeling will keep you in good standing.
4. He who kneels before God can stand before anyone.
5. In the sentence of life, the devil may be a comma--but never let him be the period.
6. Don't put a question mark where God puts a period.
7. Are you wrinkled with burden? Come to the church for a face-lift.
8. When praying, don't give God instructions - just report for duty.
9. Don't wait for six strong men to take you to church.
10. We don't change God's message -- His message changes us.
11. The church is prayer-conditioned.
12. When God ordains, He sustains.
13. WARNING: Exposure to the Son may prevent burning.
14. Plan ahead -- It wasn't raining when Noah built the ark.
15. Most people want to serve God, but only in an advisory position.
16. Suffering from truth decay? Brush up on your Bible.
17. Exercise daily -- walk with the Lord.
18. Never give the devil a ride -- he will always want to drive.
19. Nothing else ruins the truth like stretching it.
20. Compassion is difficult to give away because it keeps coming back.
21. He who angers you controls you.
22. Worry is the darkroom in which negatives can develop.
23. Give Satan an inch & he'll be a ruler.
24. Be ye fishers of men -- you catch them & He'll clean them.
25. God doesn't call the qualified, He qualifies the called.
26. Read the Bible -- It will scare the hell out of you.

Tuesday, November 01, 2005


Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll
Squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"

Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken there? I'm gonna
Eat the next thing that comes outta it's butt."

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a
Horrible crisp which no decent human being would eat?

Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about

Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?

If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of
coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but
don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?

Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours?
They're both dogs!

What do you call male ballerinas?

Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream?

If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme crap, why
didn't he just buy dinner?

If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from
vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Is Disney World the only "people trap" operated by a mouse?

Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the
Same tune?

Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere,
But call it a hemorrhoid when it's inside you?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad
At you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive

“I never let my schooling interfere with my education." -Mark Twain