One day in an elementary school in Ames, IA, a teacher asks her class if the Iowa State Cyclones are their favorite football team. The whole class says yes, except for Little Jimmy.
The teacher asks, "What's your favorite football team Jimmy?"
Little Jimmy says, "The Iowa Hawkeyes "
The teacher asks, "Well, why is that?"
Little Jimmy says, "Well, my dad is a Hawkeye fan, my mom is a Hawkeye fan, I guess that makes me a Hawkeye fan."
The teacher angered by his reply says, "If your dad was a moron and your mom was an idiot what would that make you?"
Little Jimmy says, "Well, I guess that would make me an Iowa State fan."
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Q: Where was O.J. hiding right before the famous white Bronco chase?
A: On the Iowa State University campus. That's the last place you would find a football player.
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Four college alumni were climbing a mountain one day: an Iowa State, an Iowa grad, a Florida grad, and a Notre Dame grad. Each proclaimed to be the most loyal of all fans at their alma mater.
As they climbed higher, they argued as to which one of them was the most loyal of all. They argued all the way up the mountain, and when they reached the top, the Notre Dame grad hurled himself off the mountain, shouting "This is for the Fighting Irish!" as he fell to his doom.
Not wanting to be out done, the Florida grad threw himself off the mountain proclaiming, "This is for the Gators!"
Seeing this, the Iowa grad walked over and shouted "This is for the Hawkeyes!" and pushed the Cyclones fan off the side of the mountain.
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One foggy night, an Iowa fan and an Iowa State fan were driving the opposite directions on a road near Iowa City. While crossing a narrow bridge, they hit each other head-on, mangling both cars.
The Iowa State fan manages to climb out of his car and survey the damage. He looks at his twisted car and says, "Man, I'm lucky to be alive!"
Likewise, the Hawkeye fan gets out of his car uninjured, he too feeling fortunate to have survived.
The Iowa State fan walks over to the Hawkeye fan and says, "Hey, man, I think this is a sign that we should put away our petty differences and live as friends instead of being rivals."
The Hawkeye fan thinks for a moment and says, "You know, you're absolutely right! We should be friends. In fact, I'm going to see if something else survived the wreck."
The Hawkeye fan then pops open his trunk and removes a full, undamaged bottle of Jack Daniel's. He says to the Cyclone fan, "I think this is another sign - we should toast to our newfound friendship." The Cyclone fan agrees and grabs the bottle. After sucking down half of the bottle, the Cyclone fan hands it back to the Hawkeye fan and says, "Your turn!"
The Hawkeye fan calmly twists the cap back on the bottle, throws the rest of the bottle over the bridge into the river and says, "Nah, I think I'll just wait for the cops to show up."
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Ames News Report: Football practice in Ames was delayed on Monday for nearly two hours. One of the offensive players, while on his way to the locker room, happened to look down and notice a suspicious looking, unknown, white powdery substance on the practice field. The head coach, Dan McCarney, immediately suspended practice while the FBI was called in to investigate. After a complete field analysis, the FBI determined that the white substance unknown to the players was the goal line. Practice was resumed when the FBI decided that the team would not be likely to encounter the substance again.
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A guy in a bar leans over to the guy next to him and says, "Wanna hear a good Iowa State joke?"
The guy next to him replies, "Well before you tell that joke, you should know something. I'm 6' tall, 200 lbs., and I am an Iowa State grad. The guy sitting next to me is 6' 2" tall, weighs 225, and he's an Iowa State grad. And the fella next to him is 6' 5" tall, weighs 250, and he's an Iowa State grad. Now, you still wanna tell that joke?"
The first guy says, "No, not if I'm gonna have to explain it three times."
